Words Can't Explain
by KarlyAnnChase
Summary: When Sasuke takes Sakura's most dear thing, reality steps in. As everything went downwards in a swirl of confusion, she finally snapped out of her reverie and starts repairing her abused heart, not expecting this man to change her whole life. KakaSaku AU
1. One: Apocalypse Please

Words Can't Explain

**One: Apocalypse Please**

* * *

Sakura POV

My name is Sakura Haruno, and I'm here to tell you my story. Its filled with romance, action, and drama, major drama. First, I'll introduce myself. I am a trained doctor living in Leaf Country, Konoha City, the largest city in the continent. I work as a waitress, too. Having two jobs is very stressful, you see. But it's not the most stressful thing I've had to deal with in my life. Five years ago, I divorced with my husband, Sasuke Uchiha. We'd had a child, a fragile, precious, little girl. Her name was Mai, she had soft, pale skin, sleek and smooth black hair, and my green eyes. She got her daddy's features mostly, the chalky skin, and the black hair. I have _pink_ hair. Very unusual, huh?

Anyways, when we divorced, he took Mai with him. It broke my heart. Literally; I would never come out of my room, I didn't go back to work for four months, and when I did, I was an emotionless zombie. Here, why don't you all see for yourselves, I'll start from the fight that led to the divorce (aka, the beginning of my dreadful life):

_Three Years Earlier_

"Sasuke," I sighed in exasperation. "You're being a very bad influence for her," I hissed, though I had to be quiet because my little Mai-Mai was sleeping.

My husband glared at me. "How, would you _please_ explain that to me?" His words were coated with sarcasm and venom, also slightly slurred from the liquor he was drinking.

"You smoking those damn cigarettes, the alcohol you drink all the time, you barely even pay attention to her! She needs a father, Sasuke!" I slammed my fist on the mahogany coffee table, causing my full glass of water to topple over.

"And what about you, Miss Perfect?" His face got closer to mine, to where I could feel the his spit on my face. "Always saying, 'Oh, sorry, Mai, I've got to go off to my _perfect_ job, I don't have time for you.'"

I scolded him, to where it hurt my forehead. "I have spent more time with her than you _ever_ would. And today was the last straw," I waited for him to speak, but he said nothing, so I continued. "You weren't babysitting her like I asked you to do, you just had to have some friends over to smoke, get drunk, and play poker, didn't you!?"

"Nothing happened." he replied firmly.

"_Nothing happened!?_ You weren't looking after her and she _broke her nose _by falling off a fucking shelf!" I shouted at him, fury bubbling in my veins. "Still think nothing happened?!"

He glanced quickly down the hall. "Be quiet! Mai is still asleep!" he harshly whispered to me.

I stood up, my knees knocked the table over, but I didn't really give a shit at this point. "Okay then, let's take this outside."

He laughed. "Are you kidding me?"

I rolled my eyes, and glowered. "No, you dumb ass, I don't want to fight you. I was _saying_, let's take this _nice_ conversation we're having, outside." I explained, talking slow, so he could understand what I was saying.

"Aright then." He sneered.

We walked soundlessly out of the living room and into the backyard; we didn't want to humiliate ourselves in the front yard.

I stood stiffly with my arms crossed around my chest, steam practically radiating off me. My muscles were tensed, my mind was jumbled, my heart was racing, and I was on the verge of crying. Only because I was angry. Sasuke was supposed to be the 'man of my dreams', we've known each other since we were in diapers. My mom and his dad were best friends, that's how we got to know each other. And of course, my mother had said we'd be the perfect match, and that our babies would look adorable. She'd said that when I was twelve, when I'd had a major crush on him. But when we got married when I was nineteen (way too young), ooh everything was opposite. At first, yeah, it was great. Having sex every night, eating take out, having an apartment all to ourselves, no parents, etc. After a few weeks, he looked for a job, while I was in collage, taking medical school. He ended up doing collage, too, business school, wanted to become a CEO. After four years, we both graduated, and accomplished our dream jobs. We looked like the most perfect couple alive. Everything was impeccable.

Until I got pregnant.

One night we were both drunk, and reckless, so we forgot to use a condom, and I didn't take birth control, either. We both weren't really ecstatic about it at first, but I didn't want to get an abortion. So, we kept the baby. I was hoping it would be a little girl, and of course, Sasuke was hoping for a boy. Once we got the ultrasound, it was… amazing. Nine long agonizing months passed, and little Mai was born in March. Surprisingly, I broke two of Sasuke's fingers; his pinky, and his index fingers. He didn't complain much, only that he had to type with basically one hand for three weeks. Then we picked up our pace on our "flawlessness" again.

We were both good parents, at first. But when Sasuke lost both of his parents… he broke, what a cliché quote, I know, but that's what literally happened. He was drowned in so much sorrow that he couldn't even concentrate on his job, and ended up getting fired. That didn't help him much, either. So he started drinking and smoking, one of my worst pet peeves as being a doctor. He drank on a daily basis, no matter how many times I told him his body was going to give out on him… It was having a horrible influence on Mai, which also got most of the fighting started. And when she broke her nose today, he crossed the line. We weren't so perfect anymore.

"Sasuke, I can't deal with this absolute shit anymore!" Hopefully he would understand me by now.

His eyes turned hard as stone. "Then why don't you leave." It wasn't a question.

I snorted. "Leave? Leave _what_?"

He only spoke one, simple word, "Me."

My eyes bulged, and my mouth dropped open. "You?"

"Yes."

I cleared my throat. "You mean… divorce?"

"Yes."

…Would it be better to divorce Sasuke? My husband of five years? Right now nothing seemed to be going right, and I doubt things would get much better. Think, what could be next? She could possibly get abused. I don't know, this could be a bit irrational. Then again, I could be making the right decision by saying yes.

"I-I'll have to think about it." My tone was feeble.

He just stalked off without saying another word. Of course. My knees bucked, and I fell on the wet grass, not even bothering to put out my hands to support my plummet. I just laid there with half of my face on the soggy ground, my cheeks getting wet. From the grass, and my tears. Is this how a normal woman's life is? Or how a complicated woman's life is? Perhaps a mixture of both. If only…, if only Sasuke hadn't started drinking, smoking, due to his parents death… he could've handled it a much better way. Like moving, even, if it took that much.

One thing he does to me —every night— was abuse me and says 'it takes away his lingering pain'. And, the stupidest thing I did in this situation was: _I let him._ It probably came second to the biggest mistakes in my life. And after months and months, he still did it. I _still_ get cuts and bruises every night from him. I'm _very_ sure that his pain had gone down enough to a small, small sliver. Maybe he did it for pleasure? To entertain him? To watch me writhe in pain, scream, and whimper… And I was one strong woman, but I am scared to stand up to him.

God, I needed therapy, I'm tired of trying to deal with it on my own. I would've recommended it for Sasuke, too, but it was already too late.

So, I got up from the ground that I was helplessly laying on, and walked out of the backyard, and through the gates, making my way to the paved sidewalk. I caught a glimpse at the clock through the window, and saw that it was only 9:30 a.m. My goal is to find the Konoha Psychology Center, I've never been there so I don't really know where it could be. Ah, wait, it was right by the Hospital — how could I've ever missed it? I felt my jagged walk turn into a messy sprint, unsteady, but fast. My whole body still felt numb from fear, shock. Maybe I was being irrational. Maybe I was going stir-crazy. Was Sasuke really that big of a deal? I mean, I was a strong woman, I could probably handle him myself… But, just saying that made a shockwave of pain run through my purple-black bruises. So, my feet kept on running with no objections. I wasn't bothering to be polite, either, I pushed and shoved through the giant mounds of people, not caring when they flipped me off.

Then, what seemed like hours, I finally was at the front step of the Konoha Psychology Center. I didn't go in right yet, first I had to lean up against the wall, and catch my breath. After about thirty seconds, I was ready to go in. I bet I looked like total crap; I could already tell my hair was half-damp and tangled, I was wearing a plain white oxford (with mud and grass stains on it by now), plain blue jeans, and lastly, a pair of old winter boots. I should've at least had the brains to bring a coat, it was almost below freezing outside. I stepped inside and walked blindly to the front desk. I looked around, it was actually quite spacious, and there were two sets of stairs, probably leading up the shrinks' rooms.

What caught my attention was the receptionist asking, "Hello, miss?"

My head snapped forward to the young woman's face. "Oh, I'm sorry. Yes?"

"What are you here for, hun?" she asked politely.

"Oh, yeah. Um, can I set up an appointment or, do I need to go see a uh, doctor first?" For some reason, I was nervous. I could feel my stomach clenching and twisting around in circles, along with my hammering heart.

She smiled slightly. "No, no, you don't need to see a doctor first. And, I think we have one available shrink at the moment, so you might get lucky and get to come in right now, or later today."

Before I could comment, she started dialing on the phone next to her. Then she started saying, "Hatake Kakashi?…Yes, are you open for patients at the moment?…Okay, thank you very much, I'll send her up!" Then she hung up.

I cocked my head to the side. "…Uh?"

"If you want, you can go up to the room… ah, 204, to see Hatake Kakashi-san, because he's going to be the only one available at the time." she explained to me, her hand gesturing to the stairs on her left. "Take the elevator, top floor."

A small smile lit up my face. "Okay, thank you very much!" My words were rushed, I hoped she could understand me. Then, I dashed up the wide set of stone stairs. Oh… looks like the rooms star at 0-10 here. So she was right. But, why would she lie to me? _Shut up and press the damn up button, already!_ I reminded myself. My arm extended out and I pressed the up arrow button with one finger. It lit up a dull green. After about two minutes, the elevator doors opened, vacant. I walked inside and pressed the number 4, she said the top floor, so… It only took a couple of minutes before the doors opened again. I sighed and stepped out of the elevator and into the hallway.

I didn't want to run down the hall, cause then I would _really_ look like a crazy lady. So, I just power walked, thank God I didn't have to for very long; the rooms started at 200, so it only took a few feet of walking before I was standing right in front of the door that had the words engraved onto plastic besides the door, "Hatake Kakashi, room 204". I didn't know whether to knock or not, so I did just to be polite.

I heard a muffled chuckle and a, "Come on in," The voice was deep and husky, that's all I could really hear through the thick wood of the door.

Tentatively, I twisted the door knob and hesitantly entered the large room. It had one of those long couches you always see on T.V., a mahogany desk filled with minimum paperwork, a few pieces of artwork that you could've bought at a flea market, and lastly, a chair for the shrink. Currently, he was turned around, so all I could see was the back of his silver - or was it grey? - hair, and the back of his white dress shirt and black pants.

He shifted his head to face me, but only a tad. I studied his facial features, while I could. And oh wow, he _was not_ old. So his hair was naturally silver… interesting. The only eye I could see was a charcoal black one, gazing lazily my way, and what looked like a bandana, covered his other eye. Odd. But, the weirdest was, the other half of his face was covered by some kind of mask. His nose, lips, his _whole_ neck, perhaps it was some kind of specially made undershirt of some sort, because it looked like it had no end. My lips quirked wryly. From what I could tell though, he was _very_ handsome._ Enough. Get back on track._ my conscious ordered me.

He turned away again and sat down in his chair. Finally, I realized I was still standing like an idiot by the door. I cursed at myself inwardly. So, my feet shuffled across the floor, moving towards the lengthy maroon couch, then sat down on the edge uncomfortably as soon as I got there. I could only hear the sounds of our low breathing. I was waiting for him to say something and break the awkward silence.

As if on cue, he asked, "So, what's your name, and why are you here?" _How rude. _ran through my head, but I banished the silly thought away.

I sighed, then spoke, "My name is Uchiha Sakura, and I came here because of my husband, daughter, and I." I was proud of myself; my voice didn't tremble or break at all. Thick tension filled the air, so I said something else, "I bet you get this a lot…" I tried to smile.

He snickered at my lame attempt. "So, Mrs. Uchiha-san, what's happening between your family?" He pulled out a piece of paper, and a pen.

I chewed on my lower lip. "About half a year ago, my husband, Uchiha Sasuke, lost both of his parents. And three months before, I'd given birth to my daughter, Mai." I paused, my eyes lowered to the wooded floor. "Then Sasuke was in so much pain that he started drinking and smoking cigarettes. I'm a doctor, so it's also very distressing for me to see him like that; ruining his body, and his life… But after the drinking and smoking started to just numb the ache, he started to hurt me, and I let him, which was an idiotic choice. I thought it would make him better.

"He still hasn't gotten better, but worse. He ended up losing his job, as a CEO. That just, did no good for him _at all_. Whenever I go to work, he baby-sits Mai. He hasn't been doing well at it. For example, he usually has his friends over, to drink, smoke, and play poker. But today was my last straw before I went to get help.

"Mai was apparently climbing up a tall shelf in the living room, then fell. The fall caused her to break her nose. He had to take her to the hospital, because he wasn't looking after her until she started wailing." I finished somberly, my hands fisted.

"What happened next?" he asked.

I sighed, again. "We started out talking, then it turned into a fight. Not a verbal one, thank God. Just a ton of yelling; we ended up having to go outside in the backyard, so we wouldn't wake Mai. After a few more rounds of shouting, he said something that'd totally startled me." I finally looked up at him.

He was writing fiercely and quickly, like he was quoting every word I said. Then, he looked up when I wouldn't talk. "What did he say?"

I felt my mouth muscles turn downwards. "…A divorce." I his visible eyebrow furrow just the tiniest bit. "For one, I don't know whether to say yes, or no. I think it would be good if I said yes, because he wouldn't hurt me anymore, a-and we wouldn't fight anymore. _But_, what I'm afraid of if I say yes, is that I might cause him even more pain and sadness, that he might start hurting himself or come to the point where he would… commit suicide. I know that may be a little bit _big_, but, since his parents deaths, its really… its really messed him up. That's the reason I consider saying no." I paused and my gaze returned to the ground. "You probably think I'm really weak." I muttered lastly, then shut my mouth, waiting for a reply. I tried to make my hands stop fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. Then, once again, I looked up shyly at him, beneath my eyelashes.

I could tell he smiled, because his one eye crinkled. "No, I do not, Mrs. Uchiha-san. I have seen much, _much_ worse cases; worse meaning impractical." he said coolly.

I grinned, then my expression turned slightly pleading. "Please, call me Sakura."

He laughed under his breath. "_Oh_, all right." he sighed exasperatedly in a playful banter. "As long as you don't call me Mr. Hatake-san, or Hatake-san. Kakashi is perfectly fine."

I could tell he was pretty easy to get along with, which brought relief to my stressed mind and body. I rolled my shoulders, and I felt the tension slowly dissipate. "So, er, got anything… to, uh, tell me?" I _really_ did not know how to do this.

"Well," he began. "If you divorced him, like you said, you wouldn't get hurt anymore. And it would risk your daughter – Mai – getting hurt, either. Which would be a tremendous positive. And when you remarked that you would consider saying no, he was the one who said 'why don't you divorce me?', right? _Right_. Essentially, it would be _his fault_."

He stayed silent for a moment, lingering to see my reaction.

Then, he continued. "So, the best choice would be to say yes."

I bit my lip until I tasted a thick, coppery liquid on my tongue — blood. My nails left such nice little crescent moons in my hands, probably breaking the skin there, too. "I-I think I still need some time to think about it." I announced, and to my disappointment, my voice shook horribly.

I saw Kakashi's face soften up. "Remember, it's still your choice." he told me. "So, tell me some about yourself."

I smiled. "Okay." I was glad to hear myself recover. "My maiden name is Haruno. And if you were wondering, yes, my hair color _is _natural. My favorite colors are red and green. Though red is my "family color". My best friend is Uzumaki Naruto—" I saw him cringe. "—you know him?" I asked, my curiosity biting me in the rear.

He rolled his eye. "Yes."

"Hm." I replied thoughtfully. "Anyways, my birthday is March the twenty-eighth. I am currently twenty-one. I work at the Konoha Hospital –right next to this place– the second best from Tsunade-sama herself. Um… let's see, I take martial arts classes, ever since I was twelve, with Sasuke, and Naruto. We were like the three little musketeers. Naruto and I basically stuck together like glue, Sasuke and I…, then, we weren't that close, but close enough." I gritted my teeth, which was a horrible habit I had picked up from somewhere. "Oh! I absolutely _love_ Pepsi, it's like a cigarette to a smoker." My lips quirked to the side. "So, can you tell me about _you_?"

I heard him cough.

Silence.

"…Please?" I tried.

I saw his visible eye roll, again. "I like the color blue. I'm definitely a dog person, even though cats personality traits do quite well describe me when I'm off work. I have a thing for really fast cars."

"Oh, what kind of car do you drive?" I asked. I hope I didn't interrupt him.

He cleared his throat. "I drive a Porsche," he went ahead and answered my upcoming question. "Blue."

I smirked. "So, blue, dog person with lethargic traits, and fast cars. Is that all?" He sounded hopeless if that _was_ all.

"Pretty much…" He didn't sound too convincing.

I nodded mutely, my hands started toying around with my shirt again and my leg started shaking quickly and repeatedly in place. Stupid nervousness. Why _was_ I nervous around him? I know I'm not antisocial. Was it just because he was handsome? (Even though I couldn't see all his face.) Anybody could tell he was exceedingly handsome under that damn mask-thing, as I'd said earlier. But I still couldn't understand what was up with the bandana… _Anyways_, that seemed only partly the reason I was uneasy. I felt something different eating at me. For example, my stomach is starting to clench tightly and grind, which only happens when I _know_ something very terrible is about to happen.

Apparently Kakashi noticed my agitation. "Sakura? Is everything all right? You're starting to turn very pale…,"

My head snapped up to look at him; odd, I hadn't realized my head had moved. "Oh, um," I coughed. "I'm just… a bit sick. Which usually means something dreadful is going to happen. O-oh no… Something could be happening to—" I must be very oblivious today, because as well, I did not realize I was starting to ramble.

"Sakura! Do you want to go home? Or at least call your house, to check if everything is alright?" He actually seemed concerned.

My poor forehead didn't deserve my eyebrows knitting into it; it'll cause wrinkles faster. Damn. "Y-yes, that sounds like a good idea. Just let me get my cell phone…." I pulled my cell out of my pocket, where I always kept it. It was a good place to keep it at some situations, and at others, bad.

I hit speed dial, which was 'Home'. _Ring. Ring. Ring._ Answer it! _Ring. Ring. Hello, you have reached the Uchiha Residence, nobody is home at the moment, please leave a message and we'll surely try to get back at you!_ I sighed as I heard my own voice fill my ears. Frowning, I tried speed dial number _two_, which was 'Sasuke's Cell'. This one only gave two rings before it reached the answering machine. Jeez, wasn't I cast with such a lucky day?

"Neither phones picked up." I informed him, but he probably already knew since he had not saw nor heard me speaking to anyone.

He nodded solemnly. "It's okay. Would you like to go home? We only have another… seven minutes left anyways,"

That much time has passed? Wow. "Su… re? Is it okay if I come back tomorrow?"

He chuckled at that. "Of course, you _are_ my new patient."

I smiled warmly. "Thank you, Kakashi. I'll see you again at 9?" Once again, my lower lip was the victim to my teeth.

"No need to thank me. And yes, 9 o'clock will do. If I'm not in the room, as the front desk receptionist for a key, she'll give you one."

Why would he say that? _If I'm not in the room…._

"Alright. I want to apologize for my… nervous behavior today." I laughed one short, and sharp laugh. "See you tomorrow."

I didn't wait for his reply, I simply walked past him, opened the door, and exited. As I walked through the halls and out the main entrance, I mused for awhile. That's usually what I did when I was bored or when I was alone. What am I going to say to Sasuke when I get home? I _did_ need some time to think over the divorce topic. Because, I would feel like if I gave him a straight answer, I would have rushed. I'm not one to rush. Anyone who gets to know me will learn that. Speaking of friends, I should visit Naruto today.

As if on cue, my cell phone rang, with Naruto's ID. I flipped open the phone and said, "Hey, Naruto."

"Hi, Sakura-chan." Uh, oh. He's using that tone. His regretful tone. He wasn't even trying to _fake_ enthusiasm.

I was immediately alarmed. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" He always came first before my own problems.

He was silent for a few moments, hesitating. I could tell. Then, he finally spoke. "Me and Hinata-chan had a huge fight today…" I had to press my ear against the phone really hard to hear him.

I licked my lips, it was one of the things I did when I was thinking. "And you need my help to figure out a way to apologize to her, right?"

I swear I could feel him smiling. "Yeah, you know me so well."

"We _have_ been friends our whole lives."

"Anyways, what should I do? Buy her something? Take her out to dinner?"

Suddenly, an idea sparked up in my mind. "Ooh, Naruto, this may be a bit… much. But, didn't you say you were talking about engagement?" A large smile plastered onto my face.

I heard him gasp. "No, no, that isn't much! That's _perfect_!" I had to chuckle; he sounded _so_ much like a crazed fan girl.

"Calm down, Naruto. I'm glad you like my idea, now go use it!" I urged him.

A few deep breaths later, he said, "Wait. How was your day?"

_Thanks. You just _had_ to remind me of what happened with Sasuke… Oh, Sakura, it's not his fault. _"…Very bad." It wasn't the type you would say after you got fired from a your best paying job, it was the type that you would say after someone close to you had _died_.

It was his turn to ask, "What happened, Sakura?" his voice was as hard as a rock could ever be.

I frowned and slowed my walking down. "Sasuke and I… got into another fight. This one, however, was" —I sighed— "very horrific and upsetting. I-it broke the patience I had kept for _so_ damn long." I winced at the fact that my voice broke.

"Oh, Sakura… Did he hurt you?" Shi-_t_. I've made him violent.

"N-no." _Fuck_. Today isn't getting along with me; I stuttered. And he _knows_ I never stutter unless I'm lying.

"You're lying."

"Yes, I am." I said no more after that, stalling I guess you could say.

He sighed. "Tell me the damn truth then, Sakura. I _am not_ in the mood to mess around."

I closed my eyes. I have to tell Naruto… he's my closest friends so I know he wouldn't tell anyone unless he wanted to die. Literally. "It's about time I've told you anyways… Naruto, Sasuke has been hurting me every night ever since his parents died. I couldn't tell you because I know you would flip out. I'm so sorry. Please, please don't go off and try to kill Sasuke, that's the last thing I need right now. Please, Naruto, don't. I'm begging now and that's one thing I hardly ever do." I prayed that he wouldn't go on a rampage.

There was a long silence.

"He's been _abusing_ you?!" I had to take away the phone from my ear.

"ButIlethim!" I squeezed out of my tightly packed lips, which only sounded like one jumbled up word in a different language.

_Well_, I guess _he _could understand it. "You. Let. Him. Sakura! How could you be so stu—"

"_Naruto!_" God, sometimes he can be too protective. But, he can't help it. "I know, I know! It was a big, stupid mistake that I shouldn't have made. I realize that. Please, you're just reminding me of it." I rubbed my hand across my forehead, which was breaking out in a cold sweat. "You know I don't mean to sound harsh, it's just, ugh. I'm just a bit dazed." A nervous laugh bubbled into my throat and out my mouth.

"I know… I'm just so worried about you, Sakura-chan," he said in a softer tone. "Sasuke-teme; I knew something was up with him these past few months." Good, good. He was lightening up. "But, that doesn't mean I've let it go. Not at all." Or not…

"Yes, yes. I've really got to go, I'm sorry. I'm worried about little Mai-Mai, I just got back from a therapist that I'm going to be seeing daily. Okay?" I said, a bit too rushed.

He chuckled on the other end. "Alright. I love you."

"Love you too," _Click_. I hung up. I really was worried about Mai. I don't trust her at home with Sasuke in the house, oh no. Not anymore. Sheesh… I could've had the mind to bring my car. It would've been _so_ much faster. Where was my brain today? _In your ass. Now hurry up and get it out of that smelly shit holder._ Ah, so my conscious decided to stop by for a visit; or who I like to call my "inner Sakura". She's always in the back of my head, telling me when things get too risky or dangerous, advice, blah, blah, blah. Like I said: my conscious, my inner self.

I listened to my mind and shook my head nice and hard, probably looking like a madwoman. Ugh, but all it did was make me dizzy. I groaned and held my head in my hands for a short second. Was I going to end up under this building all day? I looked up at the building in curiosity… and saw Kakashi staring right down at me with probably an amused smirk on his face. I felt myself flush intensely and I quickly focused my eyes back to the sidewalk. Okay, time to go. Seriously. I got my ass into gear and started fast-walking back in the direction I came from, which would obviously lead the way back home. Probably a home full of stress — ugh, I just can't get it out of my head, damn it!

It seemed like five seconds before I was standing right before my front door. My teeth caught my lower lip, I turned the knob, opened the door, and entered. Not so hard. My eyes shifted from side to side; there was absolutely no noise in the house. "Mai-Mai?" No response.

"S-Sasuke?"

No response.

That was definitely not a good sign. I slithered into the house more fully, inspecting all my surroundings. The table was still on the ground, along with the glass of water. Pillows were strewn here and there, the T.V. was running, most of the lights were on, also. Something seemed wrong. _Missing_. Suddenly, a realization came to me: neither of them were here. It came like a meteor hitting a planet. I ground my teeth together, feeling the burning sensation of upcoming tears through my nose, and ran up the stairs. My legs automatically took me to one room; Mai's. My hands fumbled with the knob, and finally got it to twist and open. I jumped in the room and searched _everywhere_. There was no sign of my beautiful, sleeping Mai.

My brows knitted. Don't cry. Not yet. I still had to search through our room. I got up and crossed the hall. I threw the comforter off the mattress, empty. I even looked in the closet, _under_ the bed, all empty… No, no, no. He wouldn't do this to me. That's just, he would… kill me. This kind of 'revenge' is too much. Kidnapping our —excuse me, _my_— goddamn daughter, for Christ's sake?! That would way overdue it. Nobody, but a sick, evil, twisted, monster would do that.

But, Sasuke has turned into one, after all.

It's useless to look anymore, they aren't in the house. He probably even took his and her clothes. He stole my precious angel. The only thing I lived for, besides Naruto. The only thing that made me get up in the morning, and make me smile, genuinely. She was the only thing that ever made me feel _truly_ happy lately. I worked up the energy to get my legs moving and out the front door again. I hadn't had noticed it started raining again. It fit my mood, anyway. I looked up at the grey sky, rain drops falling into my eyes, making them twitch and blink.

"_Why?!_ You…, you drunken, lifeless _bastard!_ Go die a slow, horrible death and burn in hell! You fucking asshole!" I yelled to no one in particular, at the top of my lungs. This time, quieter, I murmured, "You happy now? You probably got what you wanted; ruining my life." I dropped down on the ground, once again as I did before, pulled my knees up to my chest, and sobbed.

* * *

Chapter title song: Apocalypse Please Artist: Muse

Lyrics: Declare this an emergency/Come on and spread, a sense of urgency/And pull us through/And pull us through/And this is the end/This is the end, of the world!/It's time we saw a miracle/Come on, it's time for something biblical/To pull us through/And pull us through/And this is the end/This is the end, of the world!/Proclaim eternal victory/Come on, and change the course of history/And pull us through/And pull us through/And this is the end/This is then, of the world!


	2. Two: Diluted

Words Can't Explain

**Two: Diluted**

_**Disclaimer**__: I don't own Naruto, unfortunately. If I did, Sasuke would've never left and caused Sakura a lot of pain, and Sakura would be as old as Kakashi so it wouldn't be wrong for them to date. Etc._

* * *

Sakura POV

_Sasuke grinned wickedly as he laid his body atop mine; one hand landing on my thigh __—__gripping way too hard, of course__—__ and the other hand closing around my jugular. "S-Sasuke… no, no… t-this isn't right…." my words came out choked and weak._

"_If you want Mai to come back to you and live healthily, you will let me do whatever I please to you." he growled out in the shell of my ear, then nibbled on it. He squeezed my thigh._

"_Can y-you at least let g-go of my t-throat? P-please?" I asked feebly._

_He did what I least expected him to. He let go of it. With a mixture of a snarl and a purr, he attacked my lips by crushing his down on them. His mouth moved rapidly, and violently, like a hungry stray. He forced his tongue past my teeth, sliding it across mine. I shivered as his hips ground into mine, also feeling his hardened arousal. Why do I keep letting him do these horrible things to me? I feel so used…_

_He shoved down my skirt and cotton panties, then unbuttoned his pants, removed them, along with his boxers. "You know you want this, Sakura, like you want me."_

_I shook my head back and forth, fiercely. "No, I don't. Maybe I did at first, but now you're just a ruthless, bleak, ass. I hate you so much. You took my whole life away, my everything. Mai…," I can't believe the words came out of my mouth. That's so unlike me._

_His onyx eyes darkened with fury. "Maybe I shouldn't give Mai back to you, maybe I should just _kill_ her! Unless you want to take her place?"_

_Visions of him stabbing Mai with a kitchen knife exploded into my mind, it was like he was manipulating it. There vivid images of blood splattered on the floor, on the walls, and on his hands. But this last thing was very disturbing and troubling… her bloodcurdling scream._

_Beep!…Beep!…Bee_— I slapped my hand on the alarm clock, I hope I wasn't too forceful. "Mai!" I went upward in my bed, now in a sitting position. Then understanding hit me. "Oh, it was just a dream… but she's still…" I brought my knees up to my chest and laid my cheek on them, feeling the clear salty tears leak from my eyes. I sucked my lower lip and trapped it between my teeth, and let out short grunt, trying to stop the tears. I glanced at the clock quickly, 8:04 a.m., I need to get up and get ready. My appointment starts at nine, like it will for everyday now. After that one hour, I have to go and work at the hospital, and after _that_, around six p.m., I have to go to Hana's, the café I waitress at. My life just got much, much busier. Hopefully Tsunade-sama can bend my schedule even _more_.

I shook my head, took a deep breath and got out of bed. I shrieked as my bare feet touched the _freezing_ wood floor. I rummaged through my closet for some clothes to throw on my body, and mused. I'm living in a three bedroom two-story house. Alone, now. I felt my lips twist wistfully. I could keep up with the payment, but I don't think I can handle the… loneliness. I've never lived by myself in my whole life. Once I moved out with my parents, I was already with Sasuke.

_Stop thinking about it and get your fucking ass down to the Psychology Center!_ Why did my conscious always have to have a potty mouth? Whatever, my job is just to listen to it. But first, my stomach was telling me something more important: breakfast.

After I picked out a plain pencil skirt, a grey button-up collar shirt, and some casual black heels, I went out the door, heading for a small breakfast and tea diner. Odd for a diner, but still. It served all of my favorite beverages there: Pepsi, and green tea with a hint of raspberry. My stomach growled eagerly.

As I was pondering mindlessly, I typed in the security code for our—my garage door. It opened almost in an instant, so I pulled my car keys out of my purse. My car better fucking be there when I turn around. My finger twitched as I turned around — oh, thank God. Its there, my baby's there. When I say 'my baby', I mean my silver Ferrari. He didn't take it. He could've though, because I keep Sasuke's spare car key, and Sasuke keeps my spare car key. But I shoved those thoughts away and walked over to my car, opening the front door, and starting the engine. Its low purr calmed me, knowing he didn't do anything to it either was relieving. I felt the smallest of smiles creep up and brighten my woeful face. Even if it was just a tiny bit.

I backed out of the driveway and drove towards the breakfast diner, grateful that it was semi-early and there was barely any traffic out right now, at least around my neighborhood. It also never took very long to drive to the diner, which was another thing I was thankful for.

As was expected, I was a the pulling into the small parking lot of the diner, which took less then ten minutes. I got out of my car and closed the door, also setting the alarm. I walked across the lot and into the diner. It would be an odd visit for them today since Sasuke and… Mai weren't with me. I bit my lip and sat in one of the stools.

My favorite worker here (not to mention handsome), Tashi, looked at my strangely and said, "Sakura? Where's your douche for a husband and Mai?" He stopped wiping the counter to actually look me in the eyes.

I stared at the white countertop and frowned. I couldn't lie to him, I was always here. Everyday. With Sasuke and Mai. _Don't cry. We don't want to look as weak as we feel, now do we?_ Inner reminded me. I smiled dolefully as I realized a tear escaped my eye, disobeying my inner self. "Last night… we got into another fight, but I think I must have said something… to make him take away Mai from me and go somewhere God only knows where. I-I'm trying as hard as I can to keep my mind off of it. But, I'm not doing very good." I managed to slip a small chuckle out of my mouth, then finally looked up at him.

He gazed at me with pitiful eyes. "Oh, Sakura," he grabbed one of the hands that was holding my head. "I'm… so, so sorry. I _knew_ he wasn't good enough for you! Stoic stuck-up asshole…" he kept rambling on, only tightening his grip on my hand.

I'm glad I have some good friends. "I guess I'll take my usual." Which was that raspberry green tea I was talking about earlier, and two pancakes with a strawberry topped on them.

He jumped the slightest bit. "Ha, sorry. I'll be right back." he smiled sheepishly and walked off.

I smiled back at him, but when he turned around to where his back was to me, I instantly frowned, again.

It feels as if I'm writhing painfully from the inside out, it's like someone squeezing and pulling at the loosely tied strands of my bloody, battered heart. It's too uncomfortable and dark. Too alone. I feel trapped in a terrible abyss. My mind is just worse. Images pop up in my head. His blood covered hands and face. Dark and hellish, evil eyes. More blood. This one thing always replayed in my mind… like a broken record… he's lurching towards me, Mai, Naruto, my family, everyone I cared and lived for—

"Sakura!" Tashi's voice broke me of my horrific thoughts.

My head snapped up. "Oh! Sorry. I just spaced out there for a minute…" I curved my lips upwards weakly, then looked down at the steaming plate of pancakes that looked mouthwatering. I breathed its sent in deeply, then grabbed my plastic fork and butter knife and dug in. It was delicious, as usual. "Thank you," I mumbled out between mouthfuls of pancake.

He smiled amusedly and chuckled. "You know, you don't have to tell me thank you _everyday_ you come here…"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm just being polite," I swallowed before continuing. "Plus sometimes I do feel guilty that I never have given you anything in return for all the days I come here." I slid my eyes away from his.

Then they went back to meeting his azure orbs as quickly as they went away when I heard him burst out laughing. "Oh please, Sakura! Why would you feel bad? I'm only doing my job."

I scowled playfully. "But I'm here everyday but the weekends!" I finished the last bite of my pancakes.

He returned my playful mood by saying, "Whatever." with a smile grazing his lips.

I got up from the small stool and swung my purse around my shoulder. "I'm going then, see you tomorrow!" And without waiting for his reply, I walked out of the door.

As soon as my form got out of the diner, I felt like I was stingingly slapped and cut in the face by the harsh cold weather, the wind just made things worse as it already was. I jogged-walked across the asphalt to my car; so happy that it was going to be warm in there. I got inside my car and started up the engine again, this time driving off to the Psychology Center. I can't believe I didn't even have the brain to bring a coat. Inwardly, I sighed.

I'm really proud of myself to be able to… be able to socialize with people still. But, once it really hits me, I mean, once it's just _there_ and won't _go away_, I don't know what I'm going to do. It's probably going to haunt me until days end. Distraction is what I'll need; maybe I'll realize it never happened. We never got into a single fight. Mai was a slowly growing genius with no scarred images behind those breakable green eyes. She was never taken away from me. Sasuke's parents would still be alive. But that's not the way this world teaches you things. It teaches you in a painful manner. No matter how much I wish that it couldn't happen to me, it did. What did I ever do to… deserve this? I know I'm not any perfect angel; everyone sins. I've had a good share of sins. And so has Sasuke. _Everyone_ has, like I just said. But I haven't made any world-traumatizing mistakes. I don't know. Maybe I'm just thinking to much. It's even starting to hurt my head.

Finally getting my mind fully set on the road ahead of me, I almost missed the Psychology Center. I swerved swiftly and smoothing into the parking lot. Getting out of the car (and again setting it's alarm, you never know…), I walked in the front door, to be greeted by the same receptionist.

"Um, I'm going to Kakashi-san's room… for an appointment. I'll be coming here all day," I told her awkwardly.

She smiled and rolled her eyes. "Hatake-san is not here yet. You see, he's always late. I don't know how he keeps his job here, probably because he's the best in Konoha," she laughed a bit then speaking again. "Anyways, you'll need your own personal key to get in his room. Here," She dug around in a drawer before handing me a small silver key, which embed the room number on it: 204.

I grinned pleasantly at her. "Thank you." Now I know why he had said _'If I'm not in the room.'_. So he was one to be late, I see. I'll have to try and break him of that habit.

I went up the stairs that I did yesterday. Then pressed the same elevator 'up' button that I had yesterday. This time, when the elevator doors opened, there was a woman in there. A forced a tight smile on my face, which she didn't even bother to return. _Bitch._ automatically ran through my head. The woman had… odd hair. It was ruby red, long on one side and cut short on the other. She had plain black glasses and striking red eyes that matched her hair. Her shirt was ugly. It was long sleeved with a slight collar, there was a zipper that let you unzip the whole shirt if you wanted, which I thought was _totally_ disgusting. But she had left a good portion of the shirt unzipped, so it showed her bellybutton. Her bottoms, super short-shorts. And her "finishing touch", thigh-high boots. That is just… so unstylish and sickening. It looked like she just came off the streets.

But then something caught my eye; she was smirking. "What's so funny?" I asked her out of curiosity, not actually caring.

She looked over at me and sneered. "Why do you care?" _Goddamn,_ what is this woman's _problem_ with me? I've never even met her.

I arched a pink eyebrow. "I don't." I crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm just curious. Is it illegal to be curious?"

She snored. "No. But, it's _rude_ to be nosey."

I frowned. "Well, I think it's even ruder to hate someone you've never even met,"

She let out one high-pitched sharp laugh. "You know absolutely nothing. I may know you, and you wouldn't even know who I was. I may know someone that _was_ very close to you," It was like she was giving me some sort of hint.

My frown dipped even deeper. "What do you mean?"

And just then, the elevator bell rung. "_Perfect_," I muttered sarcastically.

She chuckled darkly. "I'll probably see you again."

I ignored her and shook my head, stepping out of the elevator. Well, that was weird. What an annoying woman. And I really didn't think she knew anyone that was 'close' to me. So, I just let the incident banish from my already clogged mind.

I walked four paces down the hall and pulled the key out from my pocket, then unlocked the door and stepped inside. As the polite receptionist said, he wasn't here. So, I'm hoping he wouldn't mind if I looked around a bit. On his desk, I saw a bright orange book, the spine of it read: _Icha Icha Paradise_. Hm, I've never heard of it. I snatched the book off the table and opened it. I skipped the first few useless pages, then turned to the page that lead to the first chapter. My eyes skimmed through the first paragraphs, then my cheeks turned a good color that matched my hair. He reads… _porn_? How…, how… perverted! I immediately closed the book and placed it back on the desk, where it belongs. After shaking off the disturbing stuff I just read, I looked at the other things on his desk. It was pretty messy; there were papers scattered along the desk's mahogany surface, a couple of pens and pencils accompanied with the book and papers. My eyes got tired of looking at the cluttered desk, so they slid down to what looked like a trashcan. A very, overfilled trashcan. Inside of it, there were some empty cups of cupped ramen (many of them, actually, which reminded me of Naruto), and more paper. I bent down and inspected it more carefully. I mean, what did all these papers have on them?

"You aren't snooping now, are you Sakura?" the voice of my therapist caught me back into reality. Then he muttered, "Hm. Nice view,"

I could just see him right now staring at my ass, which was currently in the air.

My senses came back to me and I yelped, then jumped back into my prior standing position. He _must_ have had a good view, since I was wearing a damn skirt! Blood rushed to my cheeks as I turned around to face him. But instead of muttering a sorry or 'what the hell were you doing staring at my ass' these words seemed to come automatically out of my mouth: "You're late! Where or what the hell could you've been doing?!" I switched my weight to one foot, so one hip was jutted out, and crossed my arms over my breasts.

He chortled and walked past me and sat in his chair. "You see, I ran into an elderly woman that needed help being walked home, and I was the only one around to help her. That is the cause of my tardiness." he explained to me.

I turned around once again and raised a skeptical brow. "How come I don't believe you?" I smirked and shook my head while walking to the very comfortable couch.

He snorted and rolled his visible eye. "Moving on. Have made your decision yet?"

Oh yeah.

I almost forgot about that. He wanted me to decide whether I wanted to divorce Sasuke or not. I _would_ have been able to decide, but he just had to run away with my daughter.

I felt my panic mold onto my facial features. "I-I don't know how to say this but…" I laughed bitterly, and I could already tell that my voice was going to crack. "When I came home last night, t-the house was empty. No one was there… not even Mai. He ran away. With my whole life in his hands, my daughter. I-I… don't know what to do," As expected, my voice had cracked, and near the end, it had raised up octaves for each word. I dry sobbed when no tears came out, burying my head into my hands.

There was a long silence before he spoke. "He took your daughter?" I nodded. "Did you tell him you were going to see a therapist before you left and came down here?" I shook my head weakly. "Well, did you ever think he just went out to look for you?"

I lifted my head again and looked at him. "No. He would've came back to the house. Plus he probably wouldn't have bothered taking Mai, since she seems like _nothing_ to him." I choked on my last words.

He nodded his head gravely. "True, true." He pulled out a piece of paper and grabbed a pen off his desk and started writing.

After getting a hold of myself, I spoke again. "I _do_ want to divorce him. That's my final answer. But I, now, I wouldn't know how… I mean, if I don't know where he is, how can he sign the contract papers?" It all just seemed _really_ damned confusing to me.

I'm guessing he had to think a bit. Then, he answered, "We could always have Tsunade-sama send out the police looking for him," he looked up from his paper that he was writing on. "Would that sound good to you?"

I licked my lips, then sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and chewed on it. It didn't seem like it would be that simple. Go to Tsunade, get her to have police track down Sasuke and Mai, find them, and everything would be fine? That's just… way too impossible. But, it _could_ be worth a try. "I'm very close to Tsunade-sama. She's like a second mom to me. So, I'm sure she be willing to try for me… it's just, it seems pretty doubtful."

He raised his silver eyebrow at me. "Does it now? All you have to do is have faith and hope."

I couldn't help from giggling.

He looked at me strangely. "What?" he asked.

I just smiled and shook my head. "You don't know _how_ cheesy and cliché that sounded."

He grunted, and by the tone of his voice, I could tell he was smiling under that… mask-thing. "Hey, they can come in handy. Don't tell me you haven't used one?"

I glared at him jokingly. "Shut up." I murmured back in response. And before he or I could say another thing, my cell phone rang in my purse.

And once again, it was Naruto's caller ID. I flipped the phone open. "Hey Naruto. What do you need?" I was studying Kakashi's expression as I answered the phone. It had turned from slightly curious, to amused after I said 'Naruto'.

"Hi Sakura-chan! I wanted to know if you could go out to Ichiraku's with me and Hinata-chan," Of course he would call to ask that.

I made a slight hissing noise, indicating I couldn't, at least not at this exact moment. "I can't right now. I'm busy."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm at… therapy."

"Really? Who's your therapist?"

"Hatake Kakashi."

"…" There was a short moment of absolute silence. "You mean, porn-reading, grey-haired, masked Kakashi?!" he exclaimed in glee.

I laughed out loud. "Yes. He told me you knew him. So, how _do_ you guys know each other?"

"He's ero-sennin's number one fan of Icha Icha."

"Oh, figures. Yeah, I found one of Jiraya's books on his desk today."

Kakashi visible perked up at the mention of Jiraya's name and the word 'book' in the same sentence. I just gave him a dark look in response. I'm really astonished I'm so comfortable with Kakashi already.

"Anyways, I still can't. Not even after this appointment. I can Saturday, if that's alright with you?" It was because I had to go to the hospital right after this, then go home (and probably take a nap), then go waitress at the café at six. Busy, busy.

I heard him sigh. "Yeah. But that's two days away…" he groaned.

"You'll live." Without another word being spoken, I hung up. He knew I was on a tight schedule, so it wouldn't hurt his feelings to hang up on him.

I smiled at Kakashi apologetically. "Sorry about that, if you know Naruto, you know he's one chatterbox."

He agreed by nodding. After that, we continued were we'd left off.

* * *

I moaned inwardly as I heard Tsunade call my name again. "Sakura! Come and take this chart! I'm sorry I'm giving you another one, but like I said, we're _really_ busy!" _And you think I haven't already noticed?_

I walked sluggishly over to her and grabbed, yet another, patient chart. I already had three other ones! And do you know _how_ hard it's going to be to keep checking on four damn patients? Really hard. Especially when I have one on this floor, another on the second floor, then _another_ one on the top floor! Oh and look, this patient is on the bottom floor. I don't have the time to use the crowded elevators, so I have to run up and down stairs. Well, gee, I sure am getting some extra exercise today. The only reason it was really busy today is because our soldiers were coming back from the ongoing war, which was _finally_ over.

I flipped open the chart as I started walking towards the patient's room. It looks like this one has a broken leg, a fractured ulna, and some other simple scratches and bruises. I walked in the small room, and saw that he was unconscious. There was a lot of bloodshed on him, so I pulled out some antiseptic wipes and started cleaning off the dried blood before I did anything else. After carefully cleaning off the blood on his face, I noticed he was quite handsome. He had chin-length brown hair, with some sort of cap covering the top of his head, it was tied. His face still young and boyish, but I could tell he was in his thirty's, which wasn't all too terribly old. Plus, hot damn, he had a good body… I glanced at the at the chart again and saw his name was Genma Shiranui. _I wonder how long he's going to be out…_ I thought nonchalantly.

Sighing, I worked on his leg first, since it was the worst. Next, I patched it up. When the leg was nearly perfect, I then worked on the arm and did the same routine. It's good that he didn't have any internal organ damage. But, he was the worst one I've had overall today. Which was pretty lucky, for me.

Walking out of the room quietly, I paced down the hall and down two flights of stairs, to my first patient. It would become a routine to check on each patient, in the order I got each chart.

I was getting ready to go into the room, but my I bumped into a chest. Almost instantly, I realized my nose was buried in Tsunade's overly-large breasts. Blushing furiously, I backed away. "Sorry, Tsunade-shishou… Excuse me," I muttered embarrassedly.

She didn't let me go around her. "Sakura. All the soldiers have came in now. Go home, everything is fine. I've got someone to cover your patients. Plus, it's after six, don't you have to go work at you café?"

"Oh shit!" I cursed, even though this happened everyday. "Okay, see you tomorrow Tsunade-shishou!" With that, I sprinted down the hall and out the hospital doors.

Whenever I turned on my car, I saw it was six-thirty. I really, really hope my manager will forgive me, again! Almost ever since I got hired to work at the hospital, I have been late to the café.

I was proud of myself as I pulled into the parking lot of the café. I didn't drive over the speed limit this time. I pulled off my medic coat and got out of the car, closing the door with a loud slam. I practically ran inside the café, up until I was panting.

As soon as I entered, I was on my was to the back room to get my 'required' outfit, when my boss' voice made me stop in mid-step. "Sakura."

I walked into his office and saw him leaning back in his chair, his face completely serious. "I'm so, so sorry I'm late… it was really busy at the—" I started to tell him, but he interrupted me.

"I don't want to hear the same excuses over and over again. I'm tired of you always being late! And I'm afraid to say I haven't been able to give you enough hours. I got my ass bitten off about how this place is going down the rut, because of _you_! I almost got _fired_!"

My eyes widened. "I'm—"

He slammed his hands hard onto the table, knocking some stuff over. "No! I don't want to hear your voice anymore! _You're fired!_"

"But—"

"Get out!"

His harsh, uncaring words had brought tears to my eyes. I turned on my heel and briskly walked out of his office, then out of the café. I wouldn't cry, at least not right now. That's what the inside of my car is for. My shaky hands scrambled inside my purse, looking for my phone. As my fingertips felt its smooth surface, I brought it out and dialed Ino's phone number.

After two rings, she answered. "Hi, Sakura!" she chirped brightly in my ear.

I took a deep breath. "Hi, Ino. I wanted to ask you something,"

"Forehead, why are you crying? And what do you wanna ask me? Shoot away!"

"Ino, I just lost my job. At the café." I paused, deciding whether or not to tell her what happened with Sasuke and I. She is one of my best friends, so I guess she has the right to know. "And something happened between me and Sasuke."

I heard her gasp. "What? What happened? Tell me!" she shrieked.

I laughed. "Calm down, already. What I wanted to ask you is, can we go out? To the pub? I haven't been able to go out in so long. And I just wanted to… get everything off my mind and be able to let loose." my voice was slightly pleading.

"You know what the answer is to that! Of course! As long as you tell me what happened. Wait. Don't you have to work tomorrow?"

"I'll call in sick. I don't care. Also, can I borrow something of your's to wear?" I wanted to make myself feel, not pretty, but _sexy_ tonight. I want men looking at me. It may be a gross thought, but I want to feel _good_ tonight. Confident.

"Sure, you can come over right now and pick out something. If you want," she offered.

I bit my lip. "Yeah, I'll be over there in a few. Bye, Ino! Thanks, a lot!"

"Bye, Sakura."

I hung up my phone, then started driving towards Ino's apartment complex. What should I pick out? I don't know of the clothes she has. And knowing her, they would probably be short, low-cut, and tight fitting. I don't know if I'd want a pair of shorts with a simple tank top, but that'd seem too simple. Maybe a dress could work, seeing now that I wasn't _breast-less_. So Ino and I fit into each others clothes perfectly. Hm… I'll have to ask her if I can wear a pair of her stilettos, too.

I smiled happily as I reached Ino's apartment complex. Almost jumping out of the car fueled with excitement, I walked up some stairs, and knocked on her door. A few seconds later, she opened the door and invited me in.

"I think I have an outfit for you that you'd like!" she exclaimed as we treaded in her room.

Her room was clean, aside from the clothes that were sprawled atop of her large bed. I saw a cute green sleeved dress, and a some red ones…

"Sakura! Are you even listening to me?" the overly energetic blonde sent me an annoyed look over her shoulder.

"Oh, no. Gomen, Ino." I smiled bashfully. "What were you saying?"

She sighed. "I was _saying_, I think you need to take a break from the green and red all the time. I mean, those are the colors you usually wear whenever we go out."

I cocked my head to the side. "Really? But those are my favorite colors."

She grinned wickedly at me. "Yeah, yeah. But, I want to see how you would look in a _black_ dress!" She looked through some hangers in her large closet and picked one out.

The dress would stop at about mid-thigh, it was backless, it had thick straps that cut into a —_very_— low v, with a leathery look. Simple, but sexy. A pair of silver or black stilettos would finish it off.

"Oh my God, Ino! I love it!" I cried joyfully, clasping my hands together tightly.

Ino winked and stuck her tongue out at me. "I knew you would."

I rolled my eyes, the grin still plastered onto my face. "And before I forget, I need a pair of stilettos, woman!"

She gestured her hands in front of her. "Okay, okay. I got plenty."

I just squealed in delight.

"Trust me, Sakura, before you step out of this apartment, I'll make you look _so_ sexy, that women will want to go lesbian for you." she promised.

I made a face of disgust. "Well, _that_ sure is something I'd want to think about," I replied sarcastically.

Ino giggled and threw me a pair of sleek, black stilettos. "Now, throw your clothes on so I can go do your makeup!" she ordered me.

I complied and slipped in the black dress. I noticed it was very tight fitting (like most of Ino's clothes), especially around my breasts, so it could make them push up, making them look more full and round. It also showed off my hourglass figure, which was a plus. Then, I put on the stilettos.

"Ah! You look so good in it!" Ino complimented. "Now, makeup time! I don't plan on using a whole lot, definitely some eyeliner, and some lip gloss. That's it basically." She took a hold of my shoulders and led me to her bathroom.

Ino only added the makeup she said she'd use, some black eyeliner and clear lip gloss. After she added makeup to herself, I said, "Who's car do you want to take?"

She looked at me sarcastically. "Your's, of course. Mine looks like a piece of shit compared next to your's, which it is."

"Alright, alright."

* * *

Song: Diluted. Artist: Slipknot.

Lyrics: I'm cold, I'm ugly/ I'm always confused by everything/ I stare into a thousand eyes/ But every smile hides a bold faced lie/ It itches, it seethes, it festers and breathes/ My hero's are dead, they died in my head/ Thin out the head, squeeze out the pain/ Something inside me has opened up again/ Thoughts of exemplified all the little flaws I have denied/ Forget today, forget whatever happened/ Everyday I see a little more of overall deficiencies/ I'm nothing short of being one complete catastrophe/ What the hell did I do to deserve all of this?/ I save all the bullets from ignorant minds/ Your insults get stuck in my teeth as they grind/ Way past good taste, on our way to bad omens/ I decrease, while my symptoms increase/ God what the fuck is wrong/ You act like you knew it all along/ Your timing sucks, your silence is a blessing/ All I ever wanted out of you was/ Something that could never be real/ Now take a real good look at/ What you've fucking done to me/ What the hell did I do to deserve all of this?/ Give me any reason why I need you/ Give me any reason not to fuck you up/ I see you in me/ I keep my scars from prying eyes/ Incapable of knowing why/ Somebody breathe I've got to have an answer/ Why am I so fascinated by/ Bigger pictures, better things/ But I don't even care what you think/ You'll never understand me/ What the hell did I do to deserve all of this?/ Fuck!

**A/N**: Sorry for the delay in updating. And those are some long freaking lyrics, aren't they?

Thanks for reading! I'll try to update soon (even if school's a bitch). Critique is appreciated.

* * *


	3. Three: Weightless

**Words Can't Explain**

**Three: Weightless.**

* * *

_A/N: Sorry for the horrible delay. Haven't found a good muse._

Sakura POV

Ino and I had left her apartment shortly, then getting in my car. "Dammit, Ino! I should have remembered to bring a coat. It's so fucking cold out there!" I whined as I shivered slightly.

She rubbed her upper arms. "I know,"

As soon as the car was on, I put the heater on full power. Ino and I both groaned in pleasure. After that, silence filled the car. Out of the corner of my eye, I say Ino jump and smirk largely. What is she up to this time…? It obviously couldn't be good.

"Sakura," she called out slowly. "I thought of it first!" she cried out happily.

Shit.

No way. I always thought of it first! Always! There's a game we always play, it's just like Truth or Dare, but just Dare. And it's not any innocent dare. The thing is, she gets to do as many dares as she wants to, until we get out of the pub. I usually make Ino have a major make-out session with either the ugliest guy in the room, or the fattest. I've even made her make-out with a girl, which was a show for all the guys. Oh boy, I've made her do a _whole lot_ of things, since I usually always thought of it first. But now, it was her turn.

Tonight is going to be pure hell.

I ignored all of her elated bragging comments, then gulped deeply as we pulled into the full parking lot of the pub. When I said full, I literally meant _full_. There were only a few parking places left. After all, this _was_ the most busy and popular pub in Konoha. Ino and I got out of the car at the same time, then started walking to the front doors, myself pouting the whole way.

"Do I _have_ to humiliate myself? In front of _all_ these people?" I begged, then jutting out my bottom lip again.

She snorted then threw me a short glare. "Do you honestly think I'm going to let you off the hook, when you made me embarrass myself _so many_ times?" I knew she would say no…

I let my gaze slip to the ground. "But I've been having a bad couple of days… _please_, Ino?"

"No."

"Please!" I looked at her between the small gaps of my mascara coated eyelashes.

"_NO!_"

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Humph. Fine then," I looked straight forward and my eyes caught a sign that read: NOW HIRING. _No way… they're hiring here? I must be dreaming! I've always wanted to work here!_ "Ino! Look, look!" I pointed and smiled hysterically, just barely containing my excitement so I didn't start jumping up and down.

"What?" she looked over to where I was pointing and gasped. "Oh my god! You could so get a job here!"

I nodded eagerly. "I'll ask them more about it once we get inside, alright?" I reached out my hand, grasping the handle of the entrance doors.

I tugged on the door whenever she had said an, "Okay,"

My senses were caught off-guard as I inhaled deeply when I got inside the pub, the smell of cigarette smoke, alcohol, and sweat filling my nostrils, almost causing me to gag. Then there was the blaring music, pumping rhythmically in the club, keeping it lively. People were dancing, mingling, or just sitting at the bar enjoying their time here. _Now, I just need to go ask the bartender about the sign out there._ My eyes scanned the room, then finding the bartender. Ah, Ryuu. The bartender that I didn't particularly like. Only because he _had_ to be the biggest Casanova in the world. It made his head even bigger when more than half of Konoha's women were lusting after him, too.

"Oh, great," I muttered in Ino's ear. "Look who's bartending tonight."

She glanced casually at the bar. "Ryuu?"

"Yeah. And I need to ask that douche about the sign," I whimpered helplessly. "Maybe I should just wait till his shift is over?" But I even knew he had the rest of the night shift.

She hissed between her teeth sympathetically. "That sucks for you, major. I would just go over there and get it over with,"

I nodded. "Can you help me? Just for tonight?" My eyes were big and round with hope.

Ino smiled brightly. "Of co—" she was cut off short, her face suddenly blanching. "Wait, no, sorry, I have to go pee!" She said it so fast that it sounded like one word.

Before I could even say 'Ino,' she already had ran off to the restrooms. "Dammit," I said under my breath, then turning around slowly, now only yards away from the bar area.

My steps towards the bar were slow and deliberate, then unfortunately, I slid into a stool as I made it there. I didn't even have to wait two minutes as I had already caught his attention. "Hey, Sakura. What can I get 'cha tonight, sweetheart?"

His sticky-sweet coated words sickened me. I forced a smile onto my features. "Um, I just wanted to know if they were still hiring here. I saw the sign on the door,"

His eyes darkened—not grimly—and a slow smile spread across his face. "Really, now? Well, if we weren't the sign wouldn't be out there. And I _know_ the bar would accept you for the job they have for offer." he leant up on the counter, his dark blue gaze meeting my green one.

I cocked my head to the side. "What's the particular job they have?" I asked.

He chuckled. "An entertainer on top of the bar that I'm leaning on right here. A dancer," he finished.

I held back the shriek that threatened to burst out of my mouth. So a simple, "What?" came out instead. My fists unconsciously balled up tightly. "L-like a strip dancer?" I felt my cheeks flame lightly, adding a light pink coloration to them.

His dark eyes twinkled. "No, sadly. But all I know is, you have to wear very little clothing."

I pouted slightly. "Oh… but, I guess if you could_ kindly_ please get me an application, please?"

He grinned. "Of course, sweets."

"Just shut up and go," I remarked under my breath. My fingers laced together, and I sat and thought.

I don't know about this job… I mean, sure, I'd only be doing it for part time, but still. I don't really want a bunch of sleazy perverts drooling on my feet. _But it would distract you._ my conscious pointed out. Sasu—

A piece of paper being slid to me broke me of my thoughts. "Here ya go," Ryuu said nonchalantly.

I took the application. "Thanks," I muttered. I folded up the piece of paper and stuffed it inside my purse, then cover in my face with my hands.

And, thank god, Ino called my name before Ryuu could start talking to me again. "Ooh, Sa-ku-ra!" she spoke my name exaggeratingly in three syllables.

I could instantly tell she'd thought up something while she'd been going pee. "No, no, no…" I groaned before she plopped in a stool next to me.

When I peeked through my fingers, I saw a wicked grin pulling at the side of her lips. "You know, when I was walking out of the woman's bathrooms, I saw _the most_ mysterious looking guy ever. But, god, I could tell he was handsome."—she used wild hand gestures while she was speaking—"He had the wildest silver hair ever, and some kind of weird mask." Please do not tell me she was possibly talking about…

I laughed nervously. "You did, huh?" my voice cracked tremendously, only because the person she was describing could only be: my shrink. Hatake Kakashi. I either felt asphyxiated or that I could be hyperventilating any second now. "And…?" was all I managed to get out, a small, whispered squeak.

"And," she cooed. "I know exactly what you should do to him,"—I gulped—"Lap dance." she finished, clapping her hands happily.

_Lap dance_? With my therapist?! "Please, Ino, no," _It would be wrong in so many ways…_ was my unspoken message. "I know this man."

She gasped. "What?! Why haven't you told me? Sakura! How do you know him?" she asked me question after question.

I sighed angrily. "Okay, okay. Slow down! I haven't told you because I just met him two days ago. He's my… _therapist_." I explained slowly.

She nodded, her bright blue eyes eager. She quirked her lips to the side. "I didn't know you got a therapist," she huffed. "Why aren't you telling me things anymore?"

I made my voice even. "_Because_, he became my therapist only two days ago. Alright? No need to kill me." I crossed my arms over my chest, then tossing my head.

She snorted. "Fine," she started giggling again. "But, I'm still making you give him a lap dance."

I hung my head. Looks like I was going to lose this battle, so I might as well give up. "Okay, whatever." Let's just hope he's had enough to drink to where he doesn't recognize me. "Can I at least go to the bathroom first?" I needed to check up on my makeup anyways.

With a roll of her eyes, she said, "Of course, but don't leave him waiting!" she yelled as I made my course to the ladies room.

I entered inside of the restroom. A rush of sticky, humid heat smacked me in the face harshly, intensifying the revolting smell of the bathroom by two times. My nose scrunched up in disgust. I ignored the smell and made my way over to the mirror. I looked closely at my face. No matter how many layers of makeup I wore, it couldn't hide the dark rings under my eyes caused by lack of sleep. The white in my eyes were now replaced with red lines. My iris's were no longer a bright and cheerful green, but with a deep forest green, of which looked mournful. My lips were chapped, thin, and formed into a frown.

_Ugly,_ was first word that came in mind. I hadn't been taking care of myself, and it was all because of one reason: the day Sasuke left with Mai. It's been haunting me. Why haven't I done anything? Instead, I was out drinking with Ino. Why haven't I told Tsunade? She could send out a search team for them. I just want my Mai back… But, until I can get divorced, I couldn't get her back. And I can't get divorced right now; if Sasuke's not here, it won't work. I can't do anything, except, like I said, send a search team. But, that'd just make things even worse than they are. All I could do is wait.

Realizing I'd been staring blankly at my reflection for the past three minutes, my senses came back to me and I walked out of the restroom. I took a deep breath, attempting to calm myself. Why, why did Ino have to do this to me? I just want to put a paper bag over my head.

With yet another sigh, and a good dose of determination, I walked back into the bar with confidence. My eyes searched the bar and dance floor, looking for a familiar head full of silver locks. After a few seconds, I found what I was looking for: Hatake Kakashi. I paced over to that area.

When I was only a few feet away from me, I was caught off guard by an unexpected sight: Kakashi, surrounded by many women. Not to mention _beautiful_ women. "Oh god," I muttered inaudibly to myself.

There was _no way_ I could get myself to give him a lap dance now. It was impossible, with all those women latching themselves on him like leeches. I felt a twinge of jealousy spark up in my insides.

_What?_

Jealously? No way. I couldn't possibly be _jealous_. Gah, I haven't even drank anything yet, either! What was wrong with me? Good lord, I already have too much going through my mind, I don't need something else.

My feet seemed to automatically track me back to Ino at the bar. I hung my head and sat next to her on a barstool. "Ino," I cried.

She looked at me, curiosity and concern painting her face. "What's wrong?" she asked.

I frowned. "He was surrounded by women." I said simply, not noticing the sadness that coated the words.

She blinked, then smirked. "Sounds like a womanizer to me," she laughed.

I fisted my hands into my hair. "Yeah, you're probably right…" I murmured.

"Hey! She'll take a nice n' warm sake." Ino called out to the bartender.

I grinned. "You see right through me,"

"Of course."

In the next half hour, I was bawling my eyes out. "Y-you"—hiccup—"don't get it, how much it hurts me… How useless I feel! It-it's all my fault."

Ino hugged me tightly. "Sakura, it's not your fault. You did nothing." she tried to tell me comfortingly.

I sobbed. "What do you mean, 'I did nothing,' if I wouldn't have picked so many fights with Sasuke, she'd still be here! Instead of myself getting wasted at a bar, I could be holding her here in my arms, lulling her to sleep." My hands were going crazy with hand gestures.

Ino shook her head slowly back and forth. "But, those 'fights' were practical. You needed to tell him how you really felt."

"I-I know… But still—"

"What's all the commotion here, ladies?"

I looked up in surprise, only to see my therapist—Kakashi. He had no women lusting after him, thankfully. And before I got a chance to speak, Ino beat me to it.

"Oh, well, Sakura here is having a hormonal moment." she grinned wickedly as I gawked at her.

He coughed into his fist abruptly. "Ah, women will have those moments, especially since she's intoxicated," he told us, then took a seat next to me.

Was he saying I was drunk? I don't really feel drunk yet… Maybe buzzed, but not drunk. "I'm not drunk," I protested.

"That's what they all say." said Kakashi.

Ino nodded and mumbled a little "Mm-hm."

"Lies!" I shouted. A few people surrounding us looked towards this area.

Kakashi chortled. "You know you're only proving the fact, right?"

Ino giggled as well and nodded.

I shook my head back and forth, but then groaned as it caused me to become dizzy. "Ugh, you're all wrong," I then hiccupped. God, I think _I'm_ even agreeing with them now. I might as well stop trying to object… "I need some fresh air," I got up clumsily from my chair, then stumbled all the way to the door.

As soon as I got outside, I leaned on the brick wall behind me. The cold wind didn't bite me in the face as hard with the eave above me. But, somehow, it felt nice to have the chilly breeze wafting through the air. I closed my eyes and just _breathed_ for awhile, clearing my mind.

The door suddenly opened next to me, sending a rush of heat outside. I cracked one eye open and glanced to see who was coming out. It was Kakashi.

"What do you want," I moaned, turning my face away from him.

"I'm here to take you home, dear. You're pretty tipsy to be driving home alone, anyways." he clarified.

I wailed quietly. "What about Ino? How will she get home?" I challenged.

"She's going to call a cab."

"Dammit,"

"You're doing quite a lot of moaning, do I make you _that_ happy?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows.

I shrieked. "No, you pervert!"

He placed his hand over his heart. "Oh, Sakura-_chan_, you didn't have to be so mean about it," he next snaked an arm around my waist. "Now, let's get you home, young lady."

"Okay, dad." I grumbled sarcastically.

He helped me walk to my car, which I had to show him which one _was_ my car. It took a bit of time because I couldn't remember where I parked. But, we eventually found it. He also helped me in the car, then walked around it and got in as well.

He was starting the engine, when he said: "Where's your house, Sakura?"

I blinked two times. I really didn't go back to my house… "Please, Kakashi, I don't want to go back to that horrid place."

"Why—oh," he suddenly realized why. "Then where are you going to stay?"

I shifted my gaze from his innocently. "Um, I don't know…"

"Can you go to Ino's?"

I flushed—remembering what Ino had told me earlier. "No, she told me she's having Sai over tonight."

"Any other friends? Like Naruto?"

"No… Him and Hinata live together. And they, er…"

He nodded sharply, cutting me off. "Well, you're not completely out of luck. I guess, do you want to stay at my apartment?"

My eyes widened in shock; I never thought he'd offer that. "If it's alright with you," I said meekly.

His visible eye crinkled. "Of course, Sakura." he said politely.

"Thanks," I muttered.

He nodded. "Anytime."

After that, we drove in an awkward silence. No radio, no talking. All that could be heard was the slight cooling breeze coming from the open window. Trying to make things less awkward, I gazed out my window thoughtfully. The stars were bright tonight, which I'm happy to see—hence, they were usually covered with clouds. I swear, one minute Konoha was the most beautiful place to me, then the next minutes it's the most ugly and defile place ever. I suppose it has it's places that I adore and detest.

"We're here, Sakura," his voice suddenly called, catching me off guard.

I hiccoughed abruptly. "O-okay,"

He got out of the car then appeared by my side once again, opening up the door for me and helping me out of the car. "You know," I started.

"What?" He asked curiously, turning to look at me.

"Ino dared me to give you a lap dance." I burst out giggling near the end.

His face paled and he blinked repeatedly. I think I saw him swallow hardly. "Ino has some cruel, cruel sense of humor then," he laughed dryly.

I laughed with him. "True. Hey… I'm getting a little bit sleepy… can I…" Before I got to say, 'go to sleep,' I fell on ground.

Kakashi smiled to himself and shook his head.

* * *

When I woke up, I found a nice warm blanked wrapped around my form, and a pillow behind my head—oh, and a pierce-straight-through-your-brain headache as well. There was also something _else_ on my forehead. I dumbly smacked my hand down on my forehead.

"Ow, god!" I moaned loudly.

I soon found out that it was a post-it note on my forehead. It had read:

Sakura-_chan_,

I have left for work. Feel free to have any breakfast at my apartment—if you can find any. Otherwise, it might be moldy. Oh well. Come by for your appointment anytime.

x,

Kakashi.

The first thing that came to mind was: _moldy?_ Jeez, how often did this man clean out his cabinets? Ugh. I'll just go out and get some tea and rice—if I can manage to get off the couch, of course.

With a sigh, I lugged myself lethargically off the cough. My stomach flipped uneasily. I hardly ever drink nowadays, so I'm not very used to hangovers. Now, they seem so familiar. My head pulsed in pain every single movement I made, which was quite annoying, mind you. First I'll have to go to my house to get a shower and a change of clothes. Maybe I should get some extra pairs of clothes Ino let me stay at her place. Well, for now, I'll decide against it until I get some official permission.

Jumping in and out of the shower, I threw on a plaid long-sleeved button up shirt, and a pair of black skinny jeans, finishing off with a pair of ankle-boots. I just put my hair into a messy bun, leaving a few strands down—quick, but stylish. I didn't even bother with makeup. Before leaving the house, I took a good dose of pain relieving aspirin, then headed to the Konoha Psychology Center. I hope I didn't act like too much of an idiot in front of Kakashi last night, he was somebody I just met. I didn't want to give him a bad impression.

I bet I did though, and things would probably never be right between us. What was I thinking? My thinking has been so cloudy and…unintelligent lately. Why am I not thinking about Mai? No, I'm only thinking of myself. I'm getting therapy, when I should really be getting a search team for my pride, my everything, Mai. What is wrong with me? I'm horrible.

I pulled up into the Psychology center. I dragged myself out of the car, put my keys in my purse, and checked myself in. This would be the last thing I'm doing for myself.

Next step: Get a fucking search team.

* * *

Song: Weightless. Artist: All Time Low.

Lyrics: Manage me, I'm a mess/ Turn a page, I'm a book/ Half Unread/ I wanna be laughed at/ Laughed with, just because/ I wanna feel weightless/ And that should be enough/ Now I'm stuck in this fucking rut/ Waiting on a secondhand pick me up/ And I'm over, getting older/ If I could just find the time/ Then I would never let another day go by/ I'm over, getting older/ Maybe it's not my weekend/ But it's gonna be my year/ And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere/ And this is my reaction/ To everything I fear/ Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here/ Make believe that I impress/ That every word/ By design/ Turns a head/ I wanna feel reckless/ Wanna live it up, just because/ I wanna feel weightless/ Cause that would be enough/ If I could find the time/ I'd never let another day go by/ I'm over, getting old/ Maybe it's not my weekend/ But it's going to be my year/ And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere/ And this is my reaction/ To everything I fear/ Cause I've been going crazy, I don't want to waste another minute here/ This could be all I've waited for/ (I've Waited, I've waited for)/ And this could be everything/ I don't want to dream anymore/ Maybe it's not my weekend/ But it's going to be my year/ And I've been going crazy/ I'm stuck in here/ Maybe it's not my weekend/ But it's gonna be my year/ (It's Gonna be my year)/ And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere/ (Go nowhere)/ And this is my reaction/ To everything I fear/ (Everything I fear)/ Cause I've been going crazy, I don't wanna waste another minute here/


End file.
